A Few Reasons I Never Blog Anymore

- I no longer feel a need to. Not that I ever really felt a need to, but at one point, I liked being "the funny guy," and really wanted everyone to know just how funny I was. Now I'm (for the most part) past that.
- I'm pretty convinced that everyone who may have been reading it in it's heyday (about two and a half years ago at this point, sadly) has long since moved on to better, more interesting stuff.
- MySpace. I spend all day when I'm bored at work on there now instead.
- I've discovered the joys of diet soda. While this SEEMS unrelated, I sort of feel like it was a necessary step in the process of "growing up." I see blogging as something I did in college, and I want to give up some of the "immature college things" I did during those years. I've stopped smoking pot (well, for the most part), I don't wear cargo pants, I don't listen to "jam bands," and I read novels that were written by people other than Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I guess I'm trying to force myself down the path of maturity, since I can't get there naturally.
- An utter lack of things to say. I used to see something funny and think "man, this would make a great blog!" Now, I say "man, that was sure funny." I don't know when I reached this existential plane of thought where instead of extrapolating any idea or feeling from an event, I see solely the event for what it is, and think nothing further of it. I don't really like it.

A Few False Reasons Why I Never Blog Anymore
- I am keeping a secret journal. This is simply not true. It's a diary, and I don't want the world to know who I'm crushing on, or what my co-workers say about me, or what I had for dinner. That's private!
- I don't have internet access. In fact, I actually have too much internet access. If I haven't responded to an e-mail you've sent me within, oh let's say twenty minutes, you should call the police. I'm probably in trouble.

P.S. Some of this makes no sense. Sorry.