Shoulda Said

Saturday, June 21, 2003

So I'm out with Cheryl, Leanne, and Mandy tonight, and we get the crazy idea: why not go enjoy the party and get a copy of Harry Potter? Leanne had a copy reserved at Border's, so we decided to go pick it up. We get there, and the madness starts. Here's a quick rundown of what happens:
10:00 - We arrive at Borders. Mandy and I are told that you cannot get a copy without a reservation. Cheryl and Leanne stay to wait for Leanne's copy, Mandy and I decide to go check Barnes and Noble.
10:15 - Mandy and I arrive at B+N. Same story as with Borders. Our first encounter with Bill, a disgruntled postal worker in the same situation we are. He attempts to buy off B+N employee with what seems to be a wad of one dollar bills. It does not work. We laugh at his indescribable odor. We head to the mall for Waldenbooks, our last resort.
10:30 - We arrive at Waldenbooks. There is a short line outside, and we are told that we can wait in line with the others who have not reserved copies, and we might be able to get one. We take our place, around 25th in line, next to a nice young couple whose names I have forgotten. We commence conversation with them, regarding an open window of a nearby store.
10:34 - Bill arrives. He apparently had the same idea we did. He sits down next to us, and we are forced to deal with his disgruntledness and his aromaticness (I'm not sure this is a word, but it's a nice way of saying he smelled awful) for the next hour and twenty-six minutes.
10:35 - Bill tells us all that we are stupid for liking Harry Potter. He unfavorably compares the book to the Beatles phenomenon. When nice young man next to us makes a joke that the books are better than the Hulk, Bill says, deadly serious, that "you can bust on the Hulk but don't touch the Flash". Uneasy silence follows.
10:36 - That uneasy silence I just mentioned.
10:37-11:00 - Small talk time. Nothing really exciting happens. All of the real crazies were at Borders and Barnes and Noble. Our line mainly consisted of desperate parents who had forgotten to reserve a copy for their child (i.e. Bill the Postman). We did have one really bizarre lady in a white t-shirt with "Harry Potter" written on it in fabric marker pass by and comment that the little innocent girl sitting a few spots away from us looked like Ginny Weasley. We are all embarrassed together, and hope the woman leaves soon. She does.
11:00 - Apparently, Springfield Mall's Waldenbooks has hired a magician to entertain the line of Potter fans, which has now substantially grown around the corner of the mall. We first start to notice him, and think he is a line-breaker. As a group, we all decide to break his legs when he approaches.
11:25 - He approaches. We break his legs. And by break his legs, I mean we watch his act, which was subpar at best. He did some gimpy card tricks and a really bad rubber band linking trick. We humor him. Well, by we, I don't include Bill, who heckled the magician throughout the one to four minute act he did for us. At the end of the act, Bill asks the magician for a card, and books him for his Fourth of July party.
11:30-11:45 - We talk about the Harry Potter books for a while.
11:45 - They announce the plan of attack for book selling.
11:59 - We buy books. One full minute before they go on sale everywhere else. Mandy and I rule.
12:10 - Mandy and I head back to Borders. Cheryl and Leanne are no closer to receiving book. Mandy and I revel in our victory. We laugh at the Borders employee who told us hope was lost. I buy two jazz CDs while waiting for the girls to get their book. They get it, we leave like the champions we are.
Man, what an event.

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