I convinced myself I'd never watch Goldmember. I liked Austin Powers, and Austin Powers 2 was okay, but really pushed the limits of good taste and/or good humor. However, the neighbors just bought the movie, and I had nothing else to do, so I popped it in.

Jesus. That was the worst movie I've ever seen. I've seen some real garbage in my life. The only thing slightly worse than this movie was Eight Crazy Nights with Adam Sandler. Anyone who read my away messages after I saw that knows how bad I thought that was. As a comedian, Mike Myers should be ashamed of himself for letting this piece of tripe get made. The funniest bit in the entire movie was the opening credits. That's it. All downhill from there.

I'd write more, but A.) this movie doesn't deserve any more words that that, and B.) the dearth of intelligence in this movie has already made me stupider, as witnessed in the lack of cohesive structure in the above paragraph.