Seagulls

THE SETTING is a deserted beach. The sand is littered with shells. Two seagulls swoop down at the same time and dive for the same shell.

SEAGULL #1
Get lost, I saw this first.

SEAGULL#2
No, I did! You couldn’t see an elephant past that long beak of yours.

SEAGULL#1
I’m surprised you can see my beak at all, with those beady little eyes of yours.

SEAGULL#2
Yeah, well me and my beady little eyes are going to take that crab, whether you like it or not.

SEAGULL#1
My tail feathers you are. That crab is coming home with me.

SEAGULL#2
Sez you. You’ll have to take it from me.

(He snatches the crab in his beak and starts to fly away. The first seagull quickly flies after him and attacks him in midair. The crab drops to the sand below and walks into the ocean.)

You made me lose my dinner. Now I have to go hunt for another one.

SEAGULL#1
You deserved it. And now I have to go hunt for more food, too. Thanks a lot, asshole.

(They both fly off in separate directions.)