Shoulda Said

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Crazy Dreams

I had four separate dreams last night, and for some reason I remember them all pretty vividly. Here they are, in order from least to most exciting:

1.) I had the job of creating new slang. the only slang I remember coming up with were "secure" to mean awesome, and "inerotic" to mean crappy.

2.) I saw an advance screening of X-Men 3, and there was a scene where the Beast chases a gorilla around a mansion, eventually cornering it on the mantel.

3.) I was working late one night in some office, and a girl who I really liked was there, and a guy with a giant sword came in and decapitated her. One of the janitor's came in to clean up, and I told him that there was a "cabeza" on the floor, and he threw up. Then, when I tried to write someone an e-mail saying that my crush had been decapitated, the e-mail program locked up and someone started laughing over the intercom.

4.) For some reason, I was at Chris Farley's wedding, and a bunch of us were playing kickball. Bob Odenkirk was on my team, and he had to go somewhere for a second, so he put a ghost man on second base. The other team (which had Chris Farley on it) cheated and tagged the ghost man out, so when Bob Odenkirk got back, he started beating the crap out of Chris Farley. Also, for some reason, Chris Farley had a whaling harpoon and a conch shell, so he started blowing the conch. Bob took the conch and started yelling "Chris Farley is a cheater" into it, while I took the harpoon and started hitting Chris Farley in the stomach with the non-sharp end. Then, Jon Stewart got up to do a toast, and instead of a toast, he read a really unfunny top ten list that was the top ten reasons that Jewish people are in charge of Christmas, and no one laughed. The number one reason was "Fake Christmas trees are horny and poke everyone."

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