Things That Bother Me in the Men's Room
I'd say the title makes this one pretty self-explanatory:
- when people don't flush the urinal; how much effort does that REALLY take?
- when stall doors and stall door locks do not properly align
- people who walk out without washing their hands/try to shake my hand in the near future after walking out without washing their hands
- on the flip side, people who take a preposterously long time washing behind every fingernail, inside every line of their palm, and deep-cleansing their cuticles
- guys who pee with one hand in a weird place (on their hip, on the wall above the urinal, in my pockets, etc.)
- let's focus on that hip thing real quick, because it really weirds me out: does putting one hand on your hip give you a feeling of superiority over the toilet water, because otherwise, what's the point?
That's about it. This could be funnier, but I don't want it to be. Proper bathroom etiquette is NOT a laughing matter.
- when people don't flush the urinal; how much effort does that REALLY take?
- when stall doors and stall door locks do not properly align
- people who walk out without washing their hands/try to shake my hand in the near future after walking out without washing their hands
- on the flip side, people who take a preposterously long time washing behind every fingernail, inside every line of their palm, and deep-cleansing their cuticles
- guys who pee with one hand in a weird place (on their hip, on the wall above the urinal, in my pockets, etc.)
- let's focus on that hip thing real quick, because it really weirds me out: does putting one hand on your hip give you a feeling of superiority over the toilet water, because otherwise, what's the point?
That's about it. This could be funnier, but I don't want it to be. Proper bathroom etiquette is NOT a laughing matter.
18 Comments:
It always irks me at work when guys wait behind me to use the urinal if the other is taken. When I walk into the bathroom and see both urinals taken, I head for a stall.
I wonder what these guys do at home. My money says that they pee in the sink.
04/07/2004 02:25:13 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:04 AM
Can you really flush a urinal? I guess I never really thought about what happened to the, um, "stuff" once it went into the urinal. I suppose I just thought it would be emptied or something by some poor janitor.
04/07/2004 02:25:44 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:04 AM
My irk in this area is the guy who comes in, uses the urinal next to you, and feels it necessary to make idle chit chat.
"Hey, that's some weather we been havin', huh?"
I wanna say, "dude, I don't f-ing know, I just wanna finish my piss," but of course I always end up with something like "yeah, it's awesome."
I feel like a douche, dick in hand, saying to another guy, who has his dick in hand, "yeah, it's awesome." M
Maybe I need to work on my responses - or maybe overly talkative jerk-offs can just get in, do their business quietly, and move on.
04/07/2004 02:33:15 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:04 AM
I thought of another one: guys who breathe really heavily or sigh while pissing. It's like using the bathroom next to an obscene phone caller.
04/07/2004 03:09:14 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:05 AM
Now imagine someone who does all the things that bother you at once. There's a guy who works in our building who:
A) Lines the toilet seat with paper towels (because you can catch things there you know)
B) Uses a half a roll of toilet paper to wipe himself (for that clean, fresh feeling)
C) Doesn't flush and
D) Locks the stall door behind him.
If we knew who he was we could kill him. (But that would be wrong.)
04/07/2004 03:14:27 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:05 AM
There are times when being a woman is just oh so nice and wonderful!
04/07/2004 03:34:28 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:06 AM
04/07/2004 04:15:00 PM
Seriously, Beth.
Although...I want to know how girls, who have to sit to pee everytime, still manage to pee on the seat. What the hell? I know sometimes they hover, but ew. TMI?
By
Anonymous, at 11:06 AM
Oh, btw...hilarious tales of the men's bathroom guys. Made my afternoon so much more interesting.
04/07/2004 04:17:04 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:07 AM
I agree Beth. However, sometimes, and I really don't feel like going into detail here but sometimes people(usually visitors because the staff doesn't use the public bathrooms - we have our own) in my building don't understand what shouldn't be flushed down the toilet.
04/07/2004 04:17:49 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:07 AM
Oh man, I'd SO much rather deal with all these things than have to put my ass skin in contact with the filthy toilet seat every single time I have to take a leak. You girls are just deluding yourselves.
04/07/2004 06:24:38 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:07 AM
You are so right, Steve. That's why I actually use a roll to TP to cover the seat. Well, ok, not a roll, those tissue paper things, I use them!
04/07/2004 07:45:05 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:08 AM
What I hate most of all is when you're in the stall and you get a knock on the door. It is the most unwelcome knock you will ever receive. And for a split second that seems to last for eternity, you ponder what you could possibly give as the most suitable response. I hate "There's someone in here" because never in any other situation have I or would I ever refer to myself as 'someone.' "Just a sec/Be right out' is no good either because they're expecting you to be and then, if you're not, they know exactly what you just did in there. It's one of those mysteries man will have to live with 'till the end of time...that and whatever happened to the guy who played Larry on Perfect Strangers...ahh, Mark Lynn Baker-where are you? But, yeah-that's one of my biggest pet 'pee'--ves.
04/07/2004 10:36:01 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:08 AM
hhahahaaaa PEEves. Awesome pun! Points!!
04/07/2004 11:25:26 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:08 AM
One afternoon when I first started working here, I caught the faint smell of pineapples and coconuts, and thought, "Wow! Someone is making pina colodas in the kitchen! This place is awesome!" Then I found out it was just the bathroom spray. It was quite a let down.
04/08/2004 01:59:43 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:08 AM
Guys pee with their hands on their hips? Ew.
04/09/2004 11:56:02 AM
By
Anonymous, at 11:09 AM
Generally, these guys are wearing tight biker shorts, too. I feel like it goes with the territory.
04/09/2004 12:41:58 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:09 AM
My $.02 on flushing:
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, flush it down.
We're on the cusp of a worldwide water shortage. Ten years from now, when we're peeing on trees in parks and shitting in outhouses again, you'll think this post was the silliest thing you've ever written.
04/11/2004 04:24:20 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:09 AM
Just curious Doug, but is it your way of life to rain on every parade out there?
04/11/2004 04:45:57 PM
By
Anonymous, at 11:09 AM
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