Why can't they make envelopes with pleasant-flavored glue? The flavor they currently use is somewhat like licking a plastic grocery bag, without the pleasant side effects*. Would it be such a huge expense to add a few teaspoons of vanilla extract or a bottle of grenadine to each gigantic vat of sealing product? I doubt it would take much to make the taste even slightly more palatable. How about it, Pitney-Bowes? What say you, Quill Office Supply? Here, here Top Flight! Think of your loyal customers, those of us drudging away at our desks 8/5 out of 24/7.

*Side effects are not guaranteed, results may vary, this offer not valid in Kentucky, Colorado, or North Dakota.