I want to post, but I don't have much to say. However, that's never really stopped me before. Today, I'll talk about random things.

What, exactly, makes those fish Swedish? The obvious answer is probably that the candy was invented in Sweden, but I don't buy that. I think that the Swedes are slowly taking over the world in their own passive-aggressive way. First, they'll take our candy (Swedish gobstoppers, Swedish sourpatch kids), then our businesses (Swedish Microsoft, Swedish Wal-Mart), and finally, they'll have slowly conquered the Western hemisphere.

Actually, they can have Wal-Mart. We don't need it.

If you're a pedophile, I bet being a pediatrician is like the best job you can have. You're getting paid to do what you love.

I think my shadow is way hotter than me. That bitch.

What's the deal with guys who still have handlebar mustaches? Unless you have a tattoo on your body that contains the words "Lynryd" and "Skynryd" right next to each other, you can't pull it off. They are ugly, and look more like horseshoes than handlebars. I guess horseshoe mustache doesn't sound so Southern-style badass.

I'm wearing a scarf indoors today. I think that means we're in for an Indian summer or that blood was shed tonight, or something. I'm not up to speed with my omen translations.

I like drinking coffee. For some reason, it makes me feel better about myself. Probably because I know, in my mind, that I'm not a coffee bean.

I own a rubber thimble. Don't ask me why. I just do.

That's all, folks.