Twice over the past two days, I have driven past someone with one of those fake tiger tails hanging out of their trunk. It's like the fake arm or leg you can buy at most stupid gag shops and put under any heavy item, but a tiger's tail.

What's up with this?

Who are the people who see this product in the stores, and think to themselves how lacking in novelties their car is? Are we to believe that there is some type of small tiger trapped in the trunk of your car? If that's the case, then the two options are that you have a live tiger in your trunk, in which case you are a moron, or a dead tiger in your trunk, in which case you are a smuggler and a poacher. Either way, we're led to believe that you are a dumb bastard.

I mean, seriously, someone has to think this product is really funny, or they'd stop making it. I'm embarrassed for the level of stupidity that courses through the veins of our country. Inventing stupid things like this and the hats with embedded clocks and the fake ice cubes with flies in them make the people of this country seem like the drunk uncles of the global community, who go around pulling pennies out of the younger countries' ears and generally smelling like bourbon.