Things Not to Do to Cars

On the way to work today, I saw a Nissan Altima with a self-installed spoiler on the back. Now, I don't know shit about shit when it comes to car, but I know, deep down in my soul, that there's something fundamentally wrong there. Isn't that like putting nice rims on an SUV? Or, like, flames on a minivan? I've already mentioned how I don't like those stupid tiger tails hanging out of trunks. Here are some other don'ts when it comes to cars, as far as I'm concerned:
- tinted side windows - nobody buys it when you call yourself a celebrity, and they're not going to buy it when your car lies for you, either
- blacklight carriages - you might think it's cool that there's a rave going on near your front axle, but I just think it's distracting and stupid
- extra-large subwoofers - your car sounds like a porno soundtrack, regardless of what you're listening to inside
- fuzzy dice - unless you drive a pre-1980 Cadillac, don't get these
- animal print interiors - because they clash with your animal print clothes and accessories, most likely
- extra-loud mufflers - right, we get it, you have big balls
Like I said, I don't know anything about cars, so maybe these things all come standard these days. That doesn't stop me from not liking them, though.