You Give Love a Bad Enamel
So my dentist is very cute. Well, not the actual dentist, he's an old Jewish guy with an incredibly hairy chest and medallions who wears scrubs with no t-shirt underneath. It is fairly repugnant.
No, I guess she's my dental hygienist. She cleans my teeth and does some general dentistry. I don't know, whatever, it's besides the point. She looks at my teeth a lot (a lot more than usual lately, since I had a cavity, and then a complication with the cavity that turned into a fracture, which I now need to go get a cap for...boy, I could talk about that all day!).
Is it weird to ask her out? I feel like it is, and everyone I've asked says it is. She's clearly older than me. I'm 24, she's GOT to be at least 26 to have finished dental school and be practicing already, and I'm guessing she's a little older than that. As I mentioned before, she checks out my teeth a lot. I feel like that's a little too much personal information to kick off a relationship. I mean, I certainly don't know what the inside of her mouth looks like, what with that silly mask.
However, she's cute. And I could always find a new dentist. And do dentists make good money? Because I could use a solid source of income, what with my source of income bringing in slightly less than a career as a mime.
What do you think, internetters? Is this just a wistful boy's pipe dream? Is this some kind of weird, doctor(?)-patient fetish? Am I so narcissistic about my teeth that I want someone to share my love? Please, diagnose me. I await your feedback.
No, I guess she's my dental hygienist. She cleans my teeth and does some general dentistry. I don't know, whatever, it's besides the point. She looks at my teeth a lot (a lot more than usual lately, since I had a cavity, and then a complication with the cavity that turned into a fracture, which I now need to go get a cap for...boy, I could talk about that all day!).
Is it weird to ask her out? I feel like it is, and everyone I've asked says it is. She's clearly older than me. I'm 24, she's GOT to be at least 26 to have finished dental school and be practicing already, and I'm guessing she's a little older than that. As I mentioned before, she checks out my teeth a lot. I feel like that's a little too much personal information to kick off a relationship. I mean, I certainly don't know what the inside of her mouth looks like, what with that silly mask.
However, she's cute. And I could always find a new dentist. And do dentists make good money? Because I could use a solid source of income, what with my source of income bringing in slightly less than a career as a mime.
What do you think, internetters? Is this just a wistful boy's pipe dream? Is this some kind of weird, doctor(?)-patient fetish? Am I so narcissistic about my teeth that I want someone to share my love? Please, diagnose me. I await your feedback.
7 Comments:
I'm not sure how to advise you on the dating issue, but I'm pretty sure that a dental hygienist isn't your ticket to an all expenses paid vacation. I think they make about as much money as I do, and I can't even afford new socks. So, you know, don't do it for the money.
By
Anonymous, at 3:57 PM
Oh. That's a bummer.
By
Steve, at 3:58 PM
Either way you slice it:
A) You met over a cavity that turned into a fracture and to dental hygienists, that ain't sexxxy,
B) Monocerdo's right, they make less than a garbage man,
C) She's most likely boinking the old Jewish dentist. Power drives hygienists cuh-razy!
By
Anonymous, at 9:40 AM
Okay, so I'm going to stick with the doctor-patient fetish thing. I'm going to have to go meet some doctor of something that IS sexy. Maybe I'll go in for a pectoral enlargement surgery or something and fall in love with that doctor.
By
Steve, at 9:43 AM
I'm all for asking out everyone. If I was single, I would ask out everyone (note: that's a lie). I'd also shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die (also a lie). Ask her out.
By
Unknown, at 1:50 PM
Man, I was gonna tell you to go for it. But I guess those guys know better than I do.
By
Anonymous, at 5:00 PM
Yes, ask her out. I mean, i've dated guys 3-4 years younger than me this year. don't judge me.
By
Katy, at 5:04 PM
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