Bush and his cronies in the Pentagon estimate that they are going to come $63 BILLION short on their war budget. They also plan on asking for $8 billion to aid our allies and $4 billion to enhance "domestic security". Is it just me, or does this seem like a large sum of money to drop on a war that about 8% of the nation wholeheartedly supports?

I can think of a lot of better uses for the money. With $63 billion, one could:
- start roughly 630 Gesundheit! Institutes
- buy approximately 74 billion Twinkies and distribute them to all of the homeless and starving people in the country many times over
- upgrade every single public school in the country with modern computers, libraries, etc.
- give every poor family a sum of money great enough to get them on their feet again and off of welfare
Or, of course, the obvious one:
- assassinate Saddam Hussein and stimulate an economy that is floundering because of the guidance of a shitty president, so that the 1% of the American people who own 65% of the country's wealth can stop losing their precious money

Obviously, we the People of the United States, must support the final option. It would be unpatriotic any other way.

I was approached by my friend Rachelle this past Saturday night, and asked to give her my thoughts on March Madness betting for an article in the Breeze. Here's my response.

She should have known that I know about as much about March Madness betting as I do about betting on yak fights in Nepal.

Bush has said that a war would be a legitimate "pre-emptive" act of self-defense against any future attack.

Using this defense, President Bush will systematically wipe out all of the Arabs in the world. I mean, after all, haven't we gotten to the point where we can blame anything that a Muslim person does wrong on terrorism? If we could link a mom and pop kabob restaurant in Iowa to the al Qaeda terrorist network somehow, and the possibilites are endless, Bush and his cronies would drop a nuke on it sooner than you could say "khav khalash". God bless America, but specifically our God.

You know you're a shitty president when the Catholic papers are putting you down.

I dig Mark Fiore.

Monday, March 17, 2003
A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War

George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers -- Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. -- spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com

In a recent phone-in poll on CNN, 65% of Americans believed that Saddam Hussein had a hand in the September 11th attacks. In a recent Gallup poll, two in five Americans believed France to be either unfriendly or an enemy.
In a recent poll done by the Foundation for Common Sense in America (founder: Steve Jacobs), 4 out of every 5 Americans gets their news strictly from Bush party propaganda.

As bad as their teeth are, I'm starting to like the British.

Bullshit.
Bullshit!
Bullshit!!
Fuck patriotism. Fuck "proud to be an American". I'm proud to be opposed to Bush, Congress, Senate, pretty much all of the rest of the current leadership, the American way of life and consumption, and anyone who deems war neccessary. Anyone with me in making that into a hit pop song that soccer moms can sing in their gas-guzzling SUVs while feeding their fat little kids McDonalds?

As a side note, I'm sick of hearing about "freedom fries" and "freedom toast". It's like the U.S. is jealous that the French people have all this good food, and are taking this opportunity to take it back. We are not fighting a war with France. France is doing nothing wrong. It's not anti-American to oppose war. It's anti-democratic to support it for absolutely no reason other than the leading world power doing it.

As a related side note, I'm glad the French are getting their revenge.

UPDATE: The British are finally growing some balls. Hopefully the rest of the international community will follow suit and realize how stupid war is.

Hey, this is Dan; I've briefly taken control of Steve's blog for no apparent reason.

I've nothing interesting to say, so here's a list of words I currently like can think of:

• erudite


• carcinogenic


• gregarious


• exacerbate


• interstitial

That's all I can think of, because I am tired and not very creative tonight. Sorry (not really)!

Here's a quick rundown of my day:
11:30 - woke up
12:30-1:45 - boring film class
2:00-4:45 - nap
5:00-6:15 - most boring class

*Here's where it gets fun:
6:30-7:00 - wasted time on campus with Dan and Diane
7:00 - dinner with Caitie, Mike (her boyfriend DOES exist!), Dan (see link above), Christina, Mandy, and her friends
8:00-ish - Super Troopers with above people
10:30-12:00 - quality television and Homestar Runner
12:00 - Wal-Mart run and clothes layering time with Dan and Chris Couch
12:30-1:30 - pictures at Purcell Park
1:30-2:30 - pictures at abandoned warehouse and junk yard behind BW3s
2:30-3:30 - pictures and dumpster raiding at Court Square
3:30 - triumphant return home with lots of pictures and a disgusting plastic Jesus raincoat
3:35-4:00 - web posting of the entire day's schedule

I really am a negligent poster lately. I just don't have much to say. Here's a quick summary of my life:
workclassstayuplateoversleeprepeat

That's about it. Pretty lame.

Also, my foot hurts.