Popeye Enters the 21st Century

For some reason, Fox felt that they needed to make a 3D Popeye movie. I can't turn it off. Someone help me.

Some Random Thoughts

I spent most of the day today trying to learn a new way to whistle. I think I'm almost there. Take THAT, world!

Also, I'm growing a beard. Don't try to convince me otherwise. Many have tried.

Nope, Not Gonna Happen

I haven't left the house yet today. Chances are, with three hours to go, it's not looking bright.

It also amuses me that Amazon apparently can't understand Björk's name at all.

I Can't Believe It, Either

It's 1:30 am on Christmas morning, and I can't go to bed right now. You know why?

I started watching Jackass: The Movie at midnight, and I can't stop. It's so stupid, I can't look away. I can't believe they do this moronic shit, and I find myself laughing in spite of this. I'm actually enjoying it at this point. I feel dirty.

The Macarena, Translated

While browsing for the translation for the Macarena (don't ask), I found this and laughed:

Finally! The macarena translated!

Bale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Bale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Ehhh, Macarena!

(Dance to shitty music stupid Americans!
You are so stupid that you think this shitty music is good
Dance to shitty music stupid Americans
Heeeyyy, stupid Americans!)

Macarena tiene un novio que se llama
Que se llama de apellido Vitorino
Y en la jura de bandera del muchacho
Se la dio con dos amigos

(Stupid americans will have sex with a llama.
Why is the llama named Vitronio?
While you're busy your girl will go at it with our friends
and we'll be friends with them)[note, doesn't translate well]

Que le gusta la movida guerrilera
Macarena suean con el Corte Ingles
Y se compra los modelos mas modernos
Le gustaria viver en Nueva York

(With much force you bugger gorillas
Stupid Americans buy their clothes at K-Mart
And they compare their asses with their faces
We think New York sucks!)

Black Licorice Haters

Why does everyone hate the flavor of black licorice? I don't get it. It's tasty! I think everyone, everywhere, should give it a second chance.

And another thing...we're spending lunch today watching the second half of Elf (we watched the first half yesterday).

Also, check this out. I made it! I am a Photoshop wizard!



Ahh, work is fun during the slow times.

Songs with No Godly Right Being Done on Acoustic Guitar

So my friend Steve and I (the Other Steve...which I will get to in a moment) are starting something. I should say "starting a band," but "band" implies some sort of creative process going into creating new music, and we are, for sure, not doing that. Basically, we want to go to bars and play songs that have no business being played on two acoustic guitars and get free drinks. I don't think that's so much to ask. Anyway, we're working on our first set list, and we have a few good ones on there already (we got together last night and did Kiss From a Rose, You Spin Me Round, We Are The World, and a few others), but we could certainly use more suggestions. Have at it, MySpace.

The name of the band, by the way? The Other Steve. I told you we'd get back to that.

Also, if you live in Chicago and want to see us play, I'll probably post show times on here (if we get any).

Letter Monkey

On a list of my least favorite experiences, stuffing envelopes is WAY up there. I spent too much time doing it as a temp and as an office monkey at my job in Virginia. We just started doing all of our mailings in house here, and I'm the one a lot of them falls on to. Awesome.

The Arrested Development Blues

I know I've mentioned this to death to just about everyone, but I'm so annoyed that Arrested Development is going off the air. I can't BELIEVE they are replacing it with "Skating with the Stars," a reality show where celebrities ice skate with professionals. Why is the general viewing public in our country so stupid?!

Anyway, tonight is one of the four or five remaining episodes left. If anyone wants to come over and watch/mourn, let me know.

I Want This

As far as I'm concerned, this is the best piece of art ever produced by man.