Sleeping In

What's the latest you've ever slept in? I slept in til 2 today, which I think is one of the later times. I think once I was sick, and slept in until 4 or 5.

Top Ten of 2003 (pt. 2)

Here, as promised, are my top ten favorite movies of 2003:

1.) Return of the King - No brainer. Terrific closing chapter to a terrific trilogy.
2.) Pirates of the Caribbean - Johnny Depp's best role, better than Hunter S. Thompson in my book. My second favorite movie of the year, just edging out:
3.) Lost in Translation - Bill Murray's best role ever. An awesome movie.
4.) X2 - I love the X-Men. I can't wait for X3: The Mighty X-Men, or whatever they decide to call it.
5.) Kill Bill Vol. 1 - No character has ever kicked as much ass as the Bride as far as I'm concerned.
6.) Big Fish - Tim Burton made a masterpiece.
7.) Elf - Will Ferrell rules.
8.) Bubba Ho-Tep - Elvis and JFK fighting a mummy. As good as it sounds.
9.) Finding Nemo - I have a soft spot in my heart for all things Pixar.
10.) Bend It Like Beckham - Crazy Brits.

Honorable Mentions:
21 Grams - Very interesting. Just not really worth the hype.
Bad Santa - This was much funnier than the trailers led you to believe.
Melvin Goes to Dinner - Bob Odenkirk directed this. Very interesting.
Spellbound - Harry is awesome.
The Station Agent - Quirky!

Honorable Mentions I Didn't See, but Think I Would Like:
American Splendor
Dirty Pretty Things
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Swimming Pool
Les Triplettes de Belleville

Again, I'm pretty sure I forgot some. Let me know if there are any glaring omissions.

Top Ten of 2003

Well, here it is. One month overdue:

Steve's Top Ten Albums of 2003, in no particular order:
1.) Guster Keep It Together If you know me, this one is a no-brainer.
2.) The New Pornographers The Electric Version Way too catchy to not be labeled pop rock, even though I doubt that it explodes if you drink this album with Coke.
3.) Fountains of Wayne Welcome Interstate Managers Fun music. I look for music that can make me laugh without trying (Weird Al, stop reading my site and go clean up that spill in aisle 4).
4.) The Strokes Room On Fire I know a lot of people say their first album is better, but to be honest, I sort of like this one more.
5.) Ted Leo and the Pharmacists Hearts of Oak I just found out about Ted Leo and company, and they still made my top ten for the year because they are that good. I like their last album, the Tyranny of Distance, better, but it didn't come out in 2003. This one still rocks, hard.
6.) The White Stripes Elephant I never gave these two any credit, thinking that they were just some MTV mass-produced crap, but they've got a serious blues-rock vibe going that I dig.
7.) Sahara Hotnights Jennie Bomb These Swedish girls kick serious ass. I don't know if it's punk or rock or punk rock or whatever, but it's awesome.
8.) The Dandy Warhols Welcome to the Monkey House They are too cool for me. I like listening to them just because I feel like I'm in with the popular crowd.
9.) Carbon Leaf Five Alive As I was making this list, I remembered that this CD came out this year, and I really wanted Carbon Leaf to be on my list. I'm glad they released this one because I feel like it captures Carbon Leaf's live show energy pretty well.
10.) Metric Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? I just found out about this, but I like what I hear a lot. It's a good thing I waited a month to make this list, or this would have slipped right through the cracks.

Album That Came Out in 2002 That I Wish Came Out in 2003 So It Could Be On This List:
Hot Hot Heat Make Up the Breakdown Oh goddamnit, this CD is so good.

Is there anything really good that I'm missing from this list? With something like this, you're inevitably going to feel like a great album slipped through the cracks.

Coming tomorrow: my top ten favorite movies of 2003.

Driving in Snow

I have some words of wisdom for anyone who has to drive in this weather:

Stop being retarded.

Seriously, that's the only solution I can offer, seeing as how there are people getting into accidents even though the roads are devoid of ice. I must have seen eight SUVs plowed into eight other SUVS this morning on the way to work, even though the roads were no worse than they are after a bad rainstorm. That's another word of wisdom: stop buying SUVs. Seriously, you suck. All of you. You aren't any better at driving just because your car is higher off the ground. You're just better at being an asshole.

Really, even in bad snow, it's not that bad to drive if you do it cautiously. There's no reason to go ramming into other things just because you feel the need for speed on unplowed roads. Take some rage suppressents and stop being a jerk.

Daily Show

Candidates are dropping out faster than a pregnant teenager.
-Rob Cordry, the Daily Show

That's an awesome line. This is definitely my favorite show on the air right now.

Also, this is my 100th entry on this site. I'm a maniac!

The Oscars

Oscar nominations and the Golden Razzie nominations came out today. Any thoughts?

Also, this week's Strong Bad e-mail is pretty weak. I haven't talked about those in a while, but I feel like they're struggling these days to be crazy. There have been some gems as of late (such as this one), butt overall, they are lacking in the funny. Any thoughts on that one?

Golden Globes

I didn't watch the Golden Globes last night, but I read the winners, and I agree with a lot of them. Bill Murray as best actor for Lost in Translation? Hell yes. Return of the King as best picture? You better believe it. Peter Jackson as best director? Well deserved. Sofia Coppola for best screenplay? I agree with that.

As you might be able to tell, Lost in Translation and ROTK are my two favorites to sweep the Oscars, even though I doubt it will happen. As much as it pains me to say it, though, I really want ROTK to clean up, winning best picture and possibly a best supporting actor (or at least a nod) to Sean Astin, just because the trilogy hasn't won any serious Oscars yet, and they deserve it. I feel like they should win a best picture award for the final chapter as a tribute to the fact that, cumulatively, the Lord of the Rings was a fantastic nine hour movie.

Select Smart

I just took a survey at SelectSmart.com to see what president I most agreed with. Here are the results:

1. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (77%)
2. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (74%)
3. Clark, Retired General Wesley K., AR - Democrat (72%)
4. Kucinich, Rep. Dennis, OH - Democrat (67%)
5. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (61%)
6. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (53%)
7. Lieberman, Senator Joe, CT - Democrat (43%)
8. Bush, President George W. - Republican (5%)

I agree with just about all of these. Most of my favorites are in the top five, except for the first one. What did I enter into that survey wrong that I got that as a result? But I guess the internet doesn't lie, so I'll start campaigning for Sharpton starting next week.

Pizza Toppings

How do you guys eat your pizza? Any favorite toppings? Do you add anything to the pizza before you eat it?

My personal favorite is either just plain cheese (boring) or bacon, and I also like jalapenos. I usually put garlic powder and crushed red pepper on it, too.

I mention this because I shook the garlic powder too hard when I ate pizza for breakfast today, and now I feel like I could keep Dracula at bay by singing "Row row Row Your Boat".

Glitter Phobia

I've mentioned this before on my site, but what's the big deal about glitter? Do people really think it's sexy to look like you just rolled around in a stack of arts and craft supplies? I don't understand the appeal. If I see a girl wearing glitter, I immediately think that she either works with children, or is covered in sand. Those are the only two explanations my rational brain can come up with.

Alright!

Thank God! Judaism will FINALLY welcome me back into the fold.

Out of Curiosity...

How many of the Supreme Court justices can you name? At one point, probably in my government class in high school, I could name them all. As of right now, I can probably name four. I'll list them in the comments section, so as not to give them away to anyone else.

How many do YOU know off the top of your head? Make a list, and post it in the comments section. Don't cheat, there's no reason to. I won't mock you for your lack of Supreme Court knowledge (unless you don't know we have one, in which case...what are you, retarded?)

Politics as Usual

So Doug and I were toying with the notion of starting a group blog for people interested in (mostly leftist) politics. Would anyone else be interested in getting in on this? It's easy to start up a group blog, we'd just need more than the two of us posting on it.

MLK

I'm at home today, celebrating my rich cultural heritage, and all that jazz.

For those of you who didn't know, today is the Iowa caucuses. Keep your eyes peeled for signs of a winner, because that may be the next Democratic president.

Oh MAN!

Today was AWESOME! First off, I finally got to see Bubba Ho-Tep with Dan, AJ, and Amanda, and it fulfilled all expectations. It wasn't a great script, but just the notion of Elvis and JFK fighting a mummy was hysterical. I think a few times the movie got confused as to whether it was a comedy or a horror, but it was still awesome.
As if that wasn't good enough, we went and saw David Cross at the DC Improv AND he was recording a live CD. He was so funny, as expected, and even the opening act was pretty funny.
Oh man, today was AWESOME!

Strep Throat

I've had a pretty persistent sore throat for about a week now, so at 5 pm I'm going in for a strep test. I doubt anyone knows this, but getting a strep test is probably the highest thing up on my "dreaded events" list. I'm scared to death of them, for some reason, even though I've had a fair share in my life. One time, as a kid, I ran around the doctor's office hiding when the doctor came at me with that long cotton swab, and my mom had to hold me down for them to get it in my throat.

Suffice it to say, I'm not looking forward to this one bit.

To All Of You Dubya Fans

To anyone reading my site who plans on voting for Bush in 2004 (shudder), here are One Thousand Reasons not to.

Celebrity News is for Suckas

Hey, is it just me, or does everyone else despise celebrity "news" programs/magazines? I absolutely hate hate HATE them so much. There is no reason why this should be lumped together with legitimate news. I was watching the local news the other day, which typically sucks pretty hard unless you are interested in what crimes occurred in your immediate area, seeing as how that's all they ever cover. However, as I was watching it, they did a story on Britney Spears marriage. Now, I'm sorry. Britney Spears is from somewhere down south, the marriage happened in Las Vegas, and she probably lives out in California. What, exactly, made her local news? Does she have a cousin in the D.C. area? Because if she does, I didn't hear a thing about him or her. And all those magazines like People and Us and Good Housekeeping (that one was a stretch, but it's another magazine I don't like very much) do their damnedest to legitimize all of the triviality that is a celebrity's life on a day-to-day basis. Just because you publish pictures of Harrison Ford eating at some posh restaurant in SoHo in a "legitimate news source", that doesn't make it legitimate news. It makes it inane bullshit that somehow made it into a magazine rife with more inane bullshit. This morning, on the car ride in, they did celebrity news, and my mom insisted we listen. I've never heard people talk more excitedly about anything in my life than the three or four people on the morning show did when they discussed Paris Hilton and Nick Carter's surprise Bahamas trip. How boring must your own life be for this kind of literature to really excite your senses? And how sheltered from the real world can you possibly hope to be? While the people who watch these shows know all the ins and outs of every "celebrity" to ever come from a reality show's life, they probably couldn't tell you a thing about what's going on in the real world. I guess that's my biggest problem with this type of news, is that it's the fluff that threatens to overtake real journalism in the next few years. Pretty soon no one will care when we go to war, or when a president is doing evil things, or when civil liberties are being taken away, so long as they know what book Oprah is reading that week. It's a sad state of affairs, but it's the way it is. Learn to live with it, or move to Russia, you damn Commie bastard.

Al Franken Rocks!

Al Franken will be getting a liberal radio talk show soon in, of all places, Chicago. I can't wait to listen to this, especially since it will be going up against Rush Limbaugh's talk show/conservative shitfest. Franken's latest book is one of the funniest pieces of literature I've read in a long time, and his sense of humor is typically right on.

God damn it!

I just burnt the roof of my mouth to a crisp on a scalding hot Pop-Tart. I hate that. Pop-Tarts should be equipped with edible thermometers or something, so you see what temperature the molten goo on the inside of the seemingly-cooled-off crust actually is. Ooh, ooh, or they should change color, like those gloves from the 80s. That would be a definite indicator of interior heat. Those gloves NEVER lied.

UPDATE:
After doing some preliminary internet research, I have discovered that those gloves were called Freezy Freakies.

Another Riveting Day in the Office

Ugh.

Got in at 2:35 am. Leaving for work tomorrow at 7. Things do not look good for Homestar Runner. Updates tomorrow, fo shizzy.

UPDATE:
6:15 am is officially an ungodly time. I don't know how I ever used to get up this time for high school, but I'm surprised it didn't involve uppers.

UPDATE:
9:22 am is still a pretty ungodly time when you're running on little amounts of sleep.

UPDATE:It's 6:45 pm, and after a four-hour nap, I'm ready and raring to go again.

Big Fish

I saw Big Fish tonight. I don't know what I was expecting, really, but the trailers looked interesting. It was really good. I liked it a lot. It's one of those movies that I just really enjoyed, and I can't put my finger on why. Another movie in this category is The Royal Tenenbaums (which actually had a similar plotline to Big Fish). I think it's just the style of storytelling that I enjoy, and I just don't pick up on it. Either way, it's a movie worth watching, even if it does get a little sad at the end (but that was to be expected). I'd put it in the top five Tim Burton films I've seen, under Nightmare Before Christmas, but above Beetlejuice.

Calculator Fun!

Complete Sentences You Can Form with an Upside-Down Calculator:
- Gosh, I blog libel.
- Leo, soil his leg.
- I hose bogies.
- His leg boil is so big.
- Bob loses shoes.
- Ehh, I'll go gob loogies.
- His boss is so hoggish.
- I see loose belles.
- He hoes his soil.
- Sigh, Hell is so big.
- Go boogie, Lois.
- She's so high. (extra credit for being a song title, too)
- Oil is his boss. (this one goes out to George W. Bush)
- I beg so I see big boobies.

This entry is irrefutable proof that I'm a complete and utter nerd.

Son of a...

It took me an hour and forty-five minutes to get to work today. That's ONLY good if you work on the moon, and somehow managed to get there in under two hours. At that point, it's an accomplishment. In my case, it was more like a pain in my ass.

Also, here are the answers to the lyrics "contest" if you still care:
1.) Eddie From Ohio - Woman of Faith
2.) Fountains of Wayne - Red Dragon Tattoo
3.) Phantom Planet - Our Darkest Hour
4.) Hot Hot Heat - Le Low
5.) Athenaeum - Suddenly
6.) Old 97s - Barrier Reef
7.) The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1
8.) Sahara Hotnights - Keep Up the Speed
9.) Ben Folds - Losing Lisa
10.) Morcheeba - Women Lose Weight
11.) The Dandy Warhols - Bohemian Like You
12.) Neutral Milk Hotel - Ghost
13.) Rilo Kiley - The Frug
14.) Guster - Cocoon
15.) Sleater-Kinney - You're No Rock 'n Roll Fun
16.) Jurassic Five - Sum of Us
17.) The White Stripes - Hotel Yorba
18.) The New Pornographers - Fake Headlines
19.) Howie Day - Brace Yourself
20.) Hanson - MMMBop (This one was a joke...I swear...)

Disappointing showing from everyone but Dan, who didn't actually tell me how many he got right, so he might have done a pretty disappointing job, too.

You Better Believe I'm Bored

Since I had nothing else to do, I figured I'd make a new logo for my site. Mind you, it's shit, but only because I have shitty programs to use. If I was at home with Photoshop, it wouldn't BE shit, it would ROCK shit. Here it is:



UPDATE:

I believe I have perfected the above logo through an amalgamation of boredom projects. Check this out.

Striped Eye Lou

I really liked the name of this band that Caitie made up (you DID make those all up, right?).

Anyway, it's another day at work with absolutely nothing to do, so that means posting time. Boredom can sometimes spawn creativity, but more often than not, it leads to stupidity. Either way, that can be fun.

Okay, so I really don't have anything to write about today. And not just my regular, "I don't have anything to write about, but I have some little snippet that I can think of and write, and at least have a semi-decent entry". Nope. Nothing. At. All.

I just had a cup of coffee. I put too much sugar in it.

That's the extent of my day so far. Seriously. Nothing else has happened.

I came in to work late again.

No one's interested. I should stop trying.

I bet this is what Striped Eye Lou looks like:

Boredom Relief

It's been a while since anyone did one of these, so I figure I'll have another lyrics-guessing "contest" on my site. I call it a "contest" in quotations because there's no prize whatsoever other than the sheer entertainment value you get out of guessing/looking up the answers. Feel free to leave the answers wherever you want, seeing as how there's no reward for having the most right.

1.) I wake up, check my senses
One two three four five
Number six missing again

2.) In case I get queasy
A photo of easy rider

3.) I can't see a thing through the smoke
And if I can breathe I try not to choke

4.) Consequential because
She doesn't but he does
Metric systemic buzz
Is making me anxious

5.) Please wake me
I'm one side calm and one side screaming

6.) My name's Stewart Ransom Miller
I'm a serial lady killer

7.) 'Cause she knows that
It's demanding
To defeat those evil machines

8.) Hey, we can do it again if you like
And repeat it again a few times

9.) Her lips are moving
I am mesmerized
By tiny lies

10.) Look fat chicks I don't mean to sound rude
I tell her nice hit the gym
And don't eat so much food

11.) But if you dig on vegan food
Well come over to my work
I'll have 'em cook you something that you'll really love

12.) All drenched in milk in holy water
Pouring from the sky

13.) I can do a backbend
I will not call you back

14.) Cause the day the sun gets in your eyes
Is the day that you’ll be free

15.) You're no walk in the park
More like a shot in the dark

16.) 'Cause some of us judge without knowing a man's inner
And some of us find fault in the sin and not the sinner

17.) I had fifteen people tellin' me don't move
I got movin' on my mind

18.) And if you see the bruises on my legs from kicking pills
Then you'll know how recklessly the pages I fill

19.) On and on
So it’s just your false alarm
Maybe i’ll hold my breath
And you’ll be gone

20.) You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast

Good luck winning the non-existent prize!

Office Chatter

My boss got back from her honeymoon today, and the talk of the office is the wedding. Hypothetically, I SHOULD be able to contribute to this conversation, as I was there. However, I was also immensely loaded throughout most of the reception, and recall almost none of it.

I'm not sure whether to be proud of ashamed of this, but it's pretty damn funny.

On a Whim

I have nothing else to do so far today, so I'm going to look up words associated with things I can see on a thesaurus webpage and see if they have weird synonyms. Sound like a blast? It's not. But it's better than nothing. Here we go!

catalog: synonym - guiding light

Isn't that a soap opera? Is it a catalog full of TV shows? I'm confused.

kosher: synonym - Christian

...

letter: synonym - poison-pen

A letter is something that gets sent to your house, usually on paper. It is not, contrary to popular belief, an awesome-sounding spy weapon.

marker: synonym - scepter

I spent so much time helping kings get their markers back from the Bowser kids in Super Mario Brothers 3, it's not even funny.

office: synonym - salt mines

Other undesirable workplaces, such as a sewage plant or a trash dump, do not appear on the list. I think someone at Roget's was a little bitter about a previous occupation.

scarf: synonym - raven

One's a piece of clothing. One is a bird. Am I missing something?

staple: synonym - gravamen

I had to look this one up. It means "the part of a charge or an accusation that weighs most substantially against the accused." Now, I know, this is probably a synonym for a different definition of staple, but still. I don't have any idea how a word used to describe foods you should eat every day could possibly be associated with a court room.

Awesome Mail

Every once in a while, this job redeems itself because of the awesome mail we get here. Because we are a religious institution, every non-profit in the world (including a catalog that mailed us a free sample of "Black History Month" lollipops) sends us mail. Today in the mail was this gem:



In case you can't read the fine print, it says "He may look like your neighbor, but he's actually a missionary targeting you for conversion."

How awesome is that? Way to stick it to those crazy Jews for Jesus, Jews for Judaism. Your slight change in organization names makes me appreciate the wit of the Jewish people so much more.

Lameass Central

So I'm back at work after a week's vacation, and I can't tell you how suicidal fantastic I feel. There's a stack of work as high as my collarbone (I'd prove it, but it seems that someone took the digital camera I was playing with two weeks ago), but I don't want to do any of it because
A.) no one is in the office
B.) my boss doesn't get back from her honeymoon til tomorrow and
C.) I'm a complete and utter slacker
I'll probably leave early today, even though I came in late, because I can. This is so sad.

Layover MADNESS!!!

So Cait and I got to O'Hare with plenty of time to spare today. Unfortunately, Chicago weather finally kicked in and we got a fair amount of snow. This inevitably delayed my flight two hours, causing me to miss my connection in Dayton, Ohio, which leads up to now, where I'm stranded at the Dayton airport for another two and a half hours until my next flight. This airport possibly sucks more ball than any other airport I have ever been in, but they DO have this terminal with FREE internet access, albeit also with a fuzzy screen, a 98 percent non-functioning keyboard, and a funny smell. Hopefully my flight will come sooner than expected, but in the past ten minutes, it's already been delayed twice, so I doubt that. But seriously, there's not even a magazine store here. How lame is THAT?!

UPDATE:
It's 7:20 now, and the flight has been delayed a total of eight times, and it's now expected to come at 8. On the plus side, I DID find a magazine store. That's a REALLY weak plus side.

No Clue

No idea what we're doing today. Cait and Shane are going to get their hair cut together (snicker), so I have some time to kill. Other than that, we may go to a children's museum or an aquarium, and we'll probably walk along Lake Shore Drive, which is the boardwalk along Lake Michigan. It's likefifty degrees here, so it's beautiful. I was definitely expecting icy cold weather, as evidenced by the layers I packed, but this is great. I can't wait to live here.

Baby Wants Candy

Oh my fuck! Baby Wants Candy was so amazingly, incredibly fantastic that I can't sum it up in words, so I'm going to use hand gestures.

Done.

I know you guys couldn't see that, but it was awesome. We're going to try to check out an early show of Second City tomorrow night, and then see Baby Wants Candy again for the second show, because none of us have ever laughed that hard in our lives. Seriously. I think I might have peed a little.

Still Here

I could NEVER leave you guys in the dark. I know how much you all want to know about my visit to Chicago. Here's what happened today:
- We bought tickets to go see Baby Wants Candy at Improv Olympic. I look forward to this very much.
- While buying said tickets, we ran into Charna Halpern on the way out of the theater to walk her dogs. I said hi to her. I almost had an orgasm (for those who know who she is,you would have, too).
- We ran into Danny again (swear to God, it was the same homeless guy who told Bill he'd make a great linebacker last time we were here). He played a little game with us. It went like this:
"High five!" - we give him a high five
"Low five!" - we give him a low five
"No five!" - puzzled stares
"Give a drunk some money so he can go get drunk five!" - we leave
- We raided all the thrift stores along the streets of Wrigleyville and Boystown.
- We ate some Cuban food. It was tasty.

That's about it, I think. It's been fun. I can't wait til tonight. If I get my way, we'll most likely go see Second City tomorrow night. Hot diggity dog!

Guess Where I Am?

Actually, the category for this entry sort of gives it away. I'm posting this one directly from Shane's computer in Lincoln Park, Chicago. Hott.

For those of you who were with us last time, Cait and I are continuing the journal, with new colored pens and a few new writers. Be excited.

For those of you who were not with us last time, sorry. You probably didn't understand that last bit about the journal.

For those of you who were not with us last time, but understood the bit about the journal, well, pin a rose on your nose.

For those of you with roses pinned to your nose, does that hurt? Because it seems like it would.